So Close
by only-because3
Summary: In one single moment, he screwed up everything he was working for. He had just lost Quinn Fabray and his baby girl because he is a grade A a-hole, just like his father. Another Lima Loser, just like she said.


So this is my first Glee story and I am insanely nervous about it. For some reason I find it a bit difficult to get inside the characters' heads so I really hope I wrote this well. It's definitly not my best work and I'm still not thrilled with it, but happy with it enough to post. This takes place post Hairography. Enjoy!

* * *

In one single moment, he fucked up everything he was working for. He had just lost Quinn Fabray and his baby girl because he is a grade A asshole, just like his father.

Another Lima Loser, just like she said.

He sees her walking down the hall, Finn's arm securely wrapped around her. She's smiling. Not quite like she had smiled last night, when they had just put the weird ginger kids to bed and she turned to face him, smile as wide as Ohio, but it was a genuine smile. And he sees Finn looking down at her in a way he had started looking at Berry.

He thinks he's lost completely. She's given up on him and is giving up their baby because he's a douche who can't keep it in his pants. No, it's not even that he can't keep it in his pants; he just can't stop flirting with other girls. It's not a big deal, at least to him it's not. Anger bubbles up inside him. This _isn't_ a big deal. He's not actually physically doing anything with these girls so why the hell is Quinn taking it so personal?

He sees Berry turn down the hall and Finn glance at her for a split second; he doesn't even move his body, just darts his eyes to the side before looking back down at Quinn. That's when it hits him.

This is only a big deal because of Finn. He and Berry flirt like crazy and not even in secrecy, but right in front of Quinn's face. She wants a better choice; she wants a **man** to raise her baby, not a boy. And as of now, he's done nothing but prove he's just like Finn.

When they finally pass him, neither look over at him. She doesn't even glance.

* * *

She hates her life.

And these pants that are currently tight as hell despite the fact they're both unbuttoned and unzipped.

She smoothes her shirt once more so that no one will notice her open pants and glances around the choir room. Santana smirks at her before returning her attention back to Brittany and Quinn sighs to herself. Finn sits next to her, arm draped over her shoulders as he talks to Artie and Michael. She looks over at him and sighs once more. She's chosen him because even though he would make a horrible father for her baby, he's always been up front with her about everything and at one point, he probably did really love her.

He's staring at her, she can feel it. Even though he's behind her doing God knows what, she knows he's staring at her. She's tempted to turn around and look at the boy who had almost stolen her heart. She rubs her protruding belly and knows that she can't. Because if she looks at him, she'll remember how awesome they were babysitting those kids and she won't want to give up her baby.

She closes her eyes and thinks about all the times she saw him texting that time. Of course, there was when they first got to Kendra's house and then again when they were tied to the chairs. She remembers one more after that, when he was grabbing his guitar from the case, and then after that she didn't see him with his phone. After that, the whole night was nothing but them and the kids, and then just them once the little monsters went to bed.

She opens her eyes to find that Puck has moved closer by them, now participating in the talk with Finn. He's not looking at her and it's probably because he really doesn't care about her; cares more about Santana and every other ho in this school who worships the ground he walks on. She shifts and leans her head on Finn's shoulder so that she can't see Puck, not even in her peripheral vision.

He's not as comfortable as Puck though. Finn is a bit bonier and almost feels awkward now that she's resting on him. Puck on the other hand, _sigh_. She could fall asleep on his shoulder in a second. His cologne hadn't made her want to projectile vomit everywhere when she was in the midst of her morning sickness and when ever he touched her it was strong but loving, not careful like she might break. And when she leaned on him, his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder as they sat on the couch watching some stupid movie after the kids had fallen asleep, she had felt perfect. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with nights like that.

She sits back up when she realizes this is just making her pant situation even worse. Stupid Noah Puckerman. Stupid feelings. Stupid… everything.

* * *

Mr. Schue wants everyone to do another mash up. "Just to keep us on our toes," he said as he broke everyone into groups, passing out two songs to each group.

She's really starting to think that this is God punishing her because she's been placed with Puck. Mr. Schue hands him their selected songs and Puck lets a "What the fuck," escape underneath his breath. She hits him in the shoulder for cursing before peering over to see the list.

Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac and Sorry by Buckcherry.

"The hell," she says once she sees that they only have until tomorrow at the end of New Directions to have come up with their mash up. That means she's either going to have to spend a whole lot of time with him or make him do all the work. The latter definitely is tempting but she can't do that. "Look, why don't we each mess around with the lyrics and then whoever's works best we'll use." Anything to be with him as little as possible.

He looks down at her and wants to nod and say okay. It'd be much easier on the both of them. He knows that after what he did, after what he said, that she doesn't want to be by him at all. And, even though he had tried to make himself sound like a giant dick, he still wants her beyond belief, something that makes him think that they shouldn't be around one another. But, it's also that part of him that makes him want to not let her take the easy way out. So, he doesn't. "We have to at least work on it for the last half an hour of practice. Schue'll get upset if we just ditch out. Besides, you have to wait for Finn."

She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms tight underneath her chest. He's right. "Fine." She starts to sit down when she realizes that most of the other kids have gone somewhere else to practice, leaving just them in the room with Mr. Schue, Kurt, and Mercedes. "Come on, we'll go practice in the hallway." She grabs her bag and goes out the door, expecting him to follow her which he does, but not before noticing the look that Mercedes gives him.

Quinn's already sitting against some lockers on the ground just across the hall. Far enough from the practice room to give Mercedes and Kurt their space but close enough for her to escape if need be. He shakes his head. "You're not sitting on the ground. That can't be good for you," he tells her and she cocks an eyebrow in response. "Come on, we'll go to the Home Ec room." She lets out a blunt laugh before telling him no. "I am not going to have you sitting on the ground when you're almost 5 months pregnant for a half an hour."

"Fine, then I'll wait for Finn by the car and we can do this like I originally suggested," she says, starting to make her way back on her feet. She stumbles slightly, grabbing onto the locker behind her and Puck's outstretched hand. "Don't touch me." She lets go of his hand and stands up straight, hoisting her bag higher on her shoulder. With a flip of her hair over her shoulder, she walks down the hall away from him and towards the cool winter air.

He watches her, the way her body moves, the body that he loves so much but then realizes something. She's wearing a thin cardigan. "Do you even own a winter jacket," he asks loud enough for her to hear. She just keeps walking though, ignoring him. He jogs to catch up to her and stops her just as she's about to walk out the glass door. "Do you or do you not have a jacket? One that will actually keep you warm?"

"Yes I have a jacket granted it's getting smaller everyday." She pushes the glass door open but is stopped from going outside by Puck's hand on her wrist. "I said, don't touch me." He lets go of her wrist, but only after he's turned them so that he's blocking the door. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I know you don't want me to leave you alone. Even though I fucked up, you still glanced over at me during True Colors and… and… and I just know you don't okay?" She shakes her head before running her hands through her blonde hair angrily. He's so…. God, she doesn't even know. Yes she still wants him, but she hates him at the same time. It must be these damn pregnancy hormones. "You know that your pants aren't buttoned right?"

She stands up straighter before looking down. Her shirt had risen up when she was messing with her hair, her too small pants revealed. She quickly pushes her shirt down. "Yes I am aware," she says through tight lips and he gets down on his knees. "_What_ are you _doing_?" She takes a step back from him but he quickly pulls her back before letting go of her.

"Just stand still for a second," he instructs, digging through his backpack before pulling out a rubber band and two safety pins. She questions for a second two things. One, why the hell he has safety pins in his backpack and two, what the hell he was about to do. He loops the rubber band around the button of her pants, then strings the rubber band through the largest safety pin before running the safety pin through the buttonhole and safety pinning it in place. With the smaller safety pin, he catches her zipper and pulls it up, attaching it to the rubber band contraption before smiling and standing back up. "Better?"

She stands stunned for a second. She hadn't let Puck that close to her since the night they had sex. And these damn pregnancy hormones were getting her way more worked up than she should. She shifts her hips in the pants and, surprisingly, this is better. Her pants are semi closed and snug enough to where she doesn't have to pull them up every two steps she takes. She really doesn't want to thank him, but being the good Christian girl that she is, she does. "Thank you."

"Seriously, how much is Finn getting paid? You obviously need new pants and a winter jacket that'll actually last you all winter."

"Finn is getting paid enough to get us by. If that means I have to go with ghetto pant contraptions and an old coat for a while than so be it," she answers, straightening out her shirt. "Now, if you would please let me leave." She stares at him expectantly but he doesn't budge.

He knows this is going to burn slightly coming from his mouth but he says it anyway. "I'm sorry."

She scoffs because she doesn't think he means it (Noah Puckerman doesn't apologize). "Don't be sorry. You're just a _boy_. Boys have needs right? Needs that outweigh everything else?" She says it with such a level and innocent voice that he feels like an even bigger dick. "Look, I get it alright? I'm not like the other girls. I'm not as forward as Santana, not as gullible as Brittany is, and not as slutty as half the girls in this school. And all of those qualities that I don't posses make me the wrong girl for you. I get it. Really." She turns on her heel and looks down the hallways for another exit, one further away from him.

He follows her though (she half wishes he'd stop doing that, but the other half of her is swelling with happiness that he's still chasing her). "Quinn, that's not it. I didn't mean anything I said to Santana, okay? And I stopped once we got the kids under control and, damn it Quinn, will you at least look at me," he calls from behind her and to his surprise she does turn around.

"Then why did you do it? Why did you text her back and why did you act like such a _selfish_ asshole," he thinks this is the first time he's ever heard her curse, "when I asked you about it? Is it because this really is just about our baby?" That's the first time he's heard her say our baby in reference to him and her. "Is it because you think the only way you're going to know your baby girl is by trying to get in good with me? Because if so you have failed Noah Puckerman. Which is too bad because it almost worked." She turns away again and he lets out a frustrated groan as he follows her once more.

"It's not just about our baby okay? I mean yes, I'm really heavily invested in this because you're carrying my daughter right now, but that's not the only reason I'm here okay? I _really_ like you Quinn." She stops again but this time doesn't look at him.

"Then _why _did you do all of this?"

He falls silent because he doesn't want to say this out loud. He's not even sure he can say this out loud. He's a football player, he's not supposed to get all sappy like this. He swallows hard as he walks up to her wearily. When he reaches her, he touches her shoulder and she pulls away, but turns around to look at him nonetheless. God, looking at her while doing this is even harder. Her eyes are glazed over with tears; she's fighting with every part of her being to not let them fall down her cheeks. She blinks rapidly as to help her effort and its there that he gets stuck for a while. Her long lashes, lightly coated in mascara are part of what had gotten him into this mess. When they were hanging out over the summer, when Finn was out of town with his mom, and they were drinking wine coolers in his backyard, she looked over at him and, as cliché as it sounds, batted her eyelashes at him. It wasn't supposed to be in a suggest manner, as a matter of fact she had been making fun of Santana when she'd done it, but God was it enough to makes him want to jump her right then and there.

He opens his mouth only to close it and swallowing hard once more. "I…" This is more difficult than he had originally thought. He looks down in hopes that not looking at her will at least help this along. "When you asked me to baby sit, and when I picked you up that night, you had that look in your eye." He lets out a shaky breath and looks at her. She's raised an eyebrow out of confusion and it's then that he realizes that his hands are sweating like crazy.

"What look," she asks and he takes a deep breath before continuing.

"The look that you used to give Finn, the one you gave him after you told him you loved him for the first time. The look that he gives to Rachel and the look that she gives him back. You were looking at me like that. And, honestly, it scared the living shit out of me." He looks back down and that's when he begins to ramble. "So when Santana text me, I just went with it. Because that look is so dangerous and I don't know how to handle that so I just… I just tried to push you away. And I know that that's stupid and that it doesn't change what I said but-"

He stops talking when he feels her hand on his arm. He looks up at her now and she looks so damn conflicted. "I'm not sure how to choose you now," she says softly. "I can't keep playing hot and cold with Finn, especially since he's kind of giving me somewhere to live. And I can't keep telling people I'm going to give away my baby and then change my mind the next day." She sighs and lets her hand drop. "I can't keep waiting for your moments of awesomeness. I need stability if I'm going to keep her. I need her to have a good father."

He runs his hands against his jeans in an attempt to wipe off the sweat. "Tell me what you want me to do. Tell me what I have to do in order to keep you guys."

She smiles sadly before shaking her head. "I'm not going to tell you what to do. Just do what you think is right and we'll see where all of this goes."

* * *

Over the past month, Puck has done a lot of things that haven't gone unnoticed by Quinn. He's bought her a think wool coat (the excuse for Finn being that it was one of his mom's old maternity coats and that she thought Quinn could use it, though the truth was she had seen it in the window of a store on her way to her last doctor's appointment). He bought her three pairs of maternity pants (using the same excuse as before) and somehow every Friday there's a check for $50 in her locker. But, he wasn't just doing materialistic things. He had stopped communicating with Santana except for when it was necessary in New Directions and from what she's heard he hasn't been talking to any other girls either. And, just yesterday, when Finn was at home with the flu, he had walked her to every class, holding her bag for her the entire time.

He was doing everything right and she'd be lying she if she said it didn't make her go absolutely crazy on the inside.

Which is why when she sits next to Finn in Spanish she tries to keep as much space between them as possible. After their reconciliation, things didn't change. She still saw the way he looked at Rachel and she hadn't stayed away from Puck at all. She was still upset because the money Finn was making, although did pay for her doctor's visits, didn't cover anything else. His mom was struggling to feed the three of them and make sure all the bills got paid. She feels guilty about all this. A family who shouldn't be a factor in any of this is supporting her.

She's such a horrible person.

She blinks when she realizes that she's started crying slightly. "These hormones are ridiculous," she mutters underneath her breath, slender fingers going up to her cheek to wipe away the fallen tears. She clears her throat and then looks over at Finn who looks completely concentrated on what Mr. Schue is saying. He's really trying to still get them out of here. When she thinks about it, Finn really is a good guy. Still very childish but really, he should be. They're still in high school, far from being adults. Ever since he found out about the baby, he's started really trying on all his homework and tests, and even though it took him a while, he did get a job. He took her in, put up with all her morning sickness and bitchiness, and stood by her when they became social outcasts. She crosses her legs and bites her lip before she realizes that she suddenly _really_ wants Finn.

She uncrosses her legs quickly and sits up straight. She looks down at her stomach, rubbing it softly. This whole pregnancy thing was doing crazy stuff to her head.

The bell rings and Finn hands her her bag before telling her he'll see her at practice after 6th period. She nods and smiles before walking just across the hall to the only class she shares with Puck. He's already there, something which used to be rare for him. But, just like Finn, he's really trying to make sure _he_ gets them out of Lima. Her smile gets wider when she sees him and she notices that her chair is already pulled out, ready for her to sit down.

During class she sits close to Puck. Not close enough for anyone to think that something's going on, but much closer than she sat to Finn. For the first time since she was placed in this class she's glad they sit practically alone in the back because his hand rests on her thigh for the entire class. Usually it's idle but sometimes he ran his fingertips over her jeaned leg, sending little bits of electricity through her body, or he'd let his hand trail up even further and brush her protruding belly.

Class is almost over and when she looks down at her paper, she realizes that she stopped taking notes. She also realizes that the hand she should have been writing with is resting securely on Puck's. She looks over at Puck, who's staring straight back at her, and bites her lip. She _really_ wants Puck and feels way more willing to give in to that urge now that she's with him.

This could be just her hormones telling her this, but truth be told she's wanted him really bad this past month. Granted, she's positive it's her hormones telling her to jump on Puck because he bought her pants that fit.

When the bell rings, he picks up her bag and carries it as they walk to the choir room. The halls are crowded with people, including stupid freshmen who still find it necessary to run everywhere. One hits Quinn in her shoulder and she stumbles. He uses this as an excuse to put his arm around her and pull her closer. It becomes less of an excuse when some basketball player comes running down the hall after the freshman and only misses Quinn because he pulls her out of the way fast enough.

Her arm snakes around his waist after that, leaning into him far more than she should while they're at school. Her free arm protectively incases her stomach, protecting their baby from all the inconsiderate people in the hall.

Puck ducks down an empty corridor, a short cut of sorts to the choir room. Now that there's room to move they could let go of each other but she really doesn't want to. She wants to stay by his side for now and for always.

But that's risky and so he lets go of her, even though he really doesn't want to let go either.

* * *

New Directions is hell for her today. Her back has started hurting and she's been horny as hell all day. She really just wants to get out of here (and spend the rest of her day with Puck). Finn is rubbing her lower back in an effort to combat her back pain and though it's helping her back, it's making her other problem worse. She closes her eyes and pushes against Finn's hand. When she opens her eyes, she sees Puck staring at her, his nostrils flaring slightly.

He really does hate it when Finn touches her.

Berry asks Finn to come practice their leads and he leaves her without another word. She slumps in her seat. Finn may be trying but it seems to be only when Rachel doesn't need him. She stands up, grabbing her bag and asks Mr. Schue if she can leave since she's not feeling good. He smiles and tells her that of course she can.

She really wishes she could give Mr. and Mrs. Schue her baby but she's really not too sure anymore.

"Finn, I'm leaving." He nods, not even looking at her and she rolls her eyes. She grabs his arm and pulls him away from Rachel. "I'm leaving okay?" She pauses and looks at Rachel over his shoulder before sighing. "And you know what, I'm done watching you tip toe around with her. As of right now, just do whatever you want okay? You don't owe me anything."

Finn looks thoroughly confused. "What?"

"We're no longer dating. You can be with her." She smiles sadly and starts to walk away but Finn follows her.

"But what about the baby?"

She realizes now that Mercedes is looking at them. What is with this girl? "I have it taken care of. Don't worry about it okay?"

"But… that's my baby." Mercedes laughs. _What the hell_? She needs to tell him the truth. But that's such a sticky situation that she doesn't want to deal with it at all right now.

"We'll have a long talk later okay? When you get home. Right now I just need to go and lay down and you can have guilt free flirting with Berry."

* * *

It's not until she gets outside that she realizes how cold it is outside. She sinks further into her coat, wrapping it around her extended belly. She moves her hair so that it covers her ears which are becoming colder by the second. She looks up and sees Puck leaning against the door of her car.

She smiles widely and he loves that her smile only gets that wide when she sees him. "You're not staying for practice," she asks and he shrugs.

"Figured you might need me more." She bites her bottom lip before unlocking her door.

* * *

His hands are like God's gift to man. Granted, she already knew that from when they conceived their daughter, but the way he's massaging her back has just reinforced the idea.

They're at his house - his mom's at work - and she's sitting on a backwards dining room chair as he kneads her back. Her cheeks are starting to hurt a little (she hasn't been able to stop smiling) and her eyes are getting slightly heavy. "So," Puck says at random, making her reopen her eyes. "What'd you say to Finn?"

It'd been killing him this entire time. He wanted to know whether to be hopeful or not.

"I told him to flirt with Berry because we were pretty much done. Although I said it in more words than that and I'll probably have to spell it out when I get home," she responds, pushing into his fingers in an effort to get him to press harder against her aching muscles.

He smiles.

He pushes against her back harder, this time his fingers itching their way up her shirt. She shivers at the unexpected contact but doesn't stop him. Honestly she'd rather hold out a little more (she was still slightly irked about what he had said when she found out about the texts from Santana) but it was literally starting to hurt she wanted it so bad.

She reaches around and puts her hands on his. "Noah?" He freezes at the use of his actual name. She pulls his hands away from her and then gets up so that she's facing him. "I really don't look like how I did over the summer." She really didn't. Her boobs had ballooned as well as her stomach, resulting in a few horrific stretch marks that had made her cry for an hour when she first found them. She wasn't in the best of shape since she didn't have the Cheerio workouts anymore and her bellybutton was slowly being pushed out (which had Finn convinced it was an alien baby for a week).

He wearily touches the hem of her shirt, looking at her for approval. She nods almost unnoticeably and he lifts the shirt of her head carefully. Goosebumps form on her newly exposed skin, his hands immediately rubbing her arms in an effort to warm her up. She bites her lip self-consciously and he stares at her with wonder in his eyes. She was beautiful. Her blonde hair hung over her shoulders, covering her bra clad chest, the tips just barely touching her round belly. Her hands move to cover her stomach. "It's so gross," she mutters and he moves her hands away.

"Your belly is beautiful. _You're_ beautiful." He rubs her stomach and she smiles.

"You know, you're kind of adorable Noah Puckerman." He shrugs and scoots closer to her, her legs in between his.

"I do what I can." She rolls her eyes and runs her hand through his mohawk. She locks eyes with him as they slowly close the gap between them. Her soft lips mold against his chapped ones, her arms pulling him closer to her. They pull apart after a moment and both of them glance over at the clock.

"When does your mom get home," she asks, trying to ignore the feeling she gets as his hands trail down her belly.

"5:30. When do you usually get home with Finn?"

"4:30." They both look at the clock hanging over the sink. 4 p.m.

They both look at each other before his hands grip her hips and lift her up. A giggle escapes her lips as she warns him to be careful with her as they walk towards his bedroom.


End file.
